Can You Imagine.  . .

An aardvark with a stuffy nose?
An antelope with agoraphobia?
A bear (during the winter) with insomnia?
A snake too shy to shed its skin?
A bucking bronco with epilepsy?
A hummingbird with hay fever?
A vulture with anorexia?
A rabbit with low libido?
A centipede with bunions?
A Clydesdale horse with incontinence?
A baboon with hemorrhoids?
A beaver that has to wear dentures?
A rooster with laryngitis?
A frog with a trick knee?
A lion with low self-esteem?
An elephant with amnesia?
A T-Rex with an itch?
An eagle with acrophobia?
A cheetah with motion sickness?
A baby kangaroo with claustrophobia?
A parrot that stutters?
An earthworm that needs all his hearts transplanted?
A leech with hemophilia?
A giraffe with a sore throat?
A cow with multiple stomach aches?
A housefly that is cross-eyed?
An opossum with a broken tail?
A “watchdog” with narcolepsy?
A bat that is afraid of the dark?
A three-toed sloth with a hangnail?
A honey bee with diabetes?
A cat with night blindness?
A crow with the hiccups?
A flamingo with vertigo?
A yak with alopecia?
A mouse with an allergy to cheese?
An Albino rat with jaundice?
A male gorilla with COPD?
A zebra with freckles?
Absurd Animal Ailments 
By Alisa Pink
July 1998


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